


a matter of honesty

by ro_blaze



Series: fairy tail; rewritten [3]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Communication, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, Relationship Talk, erza-centric, they talk about important stuff yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:20:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22777030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ro_blaze/pseuds/ro_blaze
Summary: erza finds she can't sleep. instead, she and mira talk about feelings.[file three of fairy tail; rewritten. post fantasia arc, pre oracion seis arc]
Relationships: Erza Scarlet/Mirajane Strauss
Series: fairy tail; rewritten [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1221527
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	a matter of honesty

**Author's Note:**

> femslash feb is still running strong and i love it 
> 
> communication is key to a good relationship
> 
> (this is practically a direct sequel to file one lol i just love erzajane)

erza’s not even surprised to find mira already at the guildhall when she arrives, the sun not quite risen in the sky outside.

“i thought people were supposed to be sleeping at this time,” she says in lieu of a greeting, lifting herself to sit on one of the freshly cleaned tables.

“hello to you too, erza,” mira answers with all the warmth in the world in her voice. despite the early hour, her face is glowing. “i’m an early bird,” is her only response.

“the sun’s not even out and you’re already here.” erza shakes her head in amusement. 

mira gives her one of those beautiful, sunshine smiles of hers and erza tries her best to ignore the flutter of butterflies in her stomach. even so, affection swells in her chest and she cannot help but smile back. 

“so you are!” mira walks over to the table she’s sitting at, hands resting on her hips and bunching up the smooth pink fabric of her dress. “what are you doing here so early? you’re usually asleep until nine.”

someone would have been worried that mira knew almost everyone’s sleeping schedule, but it was mira and mira knew everything. she was the kind of person who knew because she worried, because she wanted to take care of everyone, because she was kind like that.

and erza really has to stop that mental ranting before she decides to write _‘i have a crush on you’_ on her forehead.

“i just woke up,” she lies then. it’s a far cry from the truth, but mira doesn’t deserve to know about her disturbing nightmares and jellal’s dying face flashing in her mind’s eye. “i went out on a walk and my feet just brought me here.”

mira gives her a look that tells her she doesn’t believe a single word. erza shrugs and shifts her legs. neither of them says anything, fortunately, and it’s the kind of comfortable silence that makes erza smile. just a little.

“do you need any help here?” she asks, hoping despite hope that continuing the conversation would stop her from daydreaming even further. “with the cleaning?”

mira doesn’t answer—there’s only a light shrug of her shoulders. erza barely manages to catch the cleaning cloth that is thrown at her, but she does drop the water spray bottle in an uncharacteristic display of clumsiness.

they work around in the same pleasant silence, knowing what to do with a single glance towards each other. it’s easy, falling into this sync, and erza hates how much the broken pieces of her heart yearn for it.

“okay,” mira tells her after they’re all done and collected the cleaning supplies in a small box, “tell me what’s wrong. you’re obviously out of it.”

erza hesitates. it’s almost six in the morning—in an hour or so, the guild would open doors and her family would rush in. she looks at the mira, with the lines of concern etched into her beautiful face, and hates the guilt that digs its talons into her heart even though she has nothing to feel guilty about.

“it’s… a long story,” she whispers. “i don’t know how much i will be alright sharing.”

mira takes her hand. her hands are a little bit smaller than erza’s, but she has longer fingers and her nails are even to perfection. she has callouses, erza knows—or at least used to, before, because she always makes sure to whisk them away with magic. 

“that’s okay,” mira says, her face softening into a kind smile. “i told you i’d always be here to listen, remember? tell me as much as you want—or don’t say anything. i’d be here for you.”

erza opens her mouth, but her voice dies in her throat. she tries a couple more times, but it feels as if she’s forgotten how to speak. her chest constricts with an emotion she’s not quite sure she can name.

mira doesn’t push her—she takes her hand, touch gentle and kind, and sits them down on one of the freshly cleaned tables. they sit together, instead of across each other, and if she wasn’t struggling to find her ability to form words, erza would have smiled at how considerate her friend was. instead, she lets her head fall on mira’s shoulder and closes her eyes.

“i like you,” she begins, finally giving in the truth she’d been trying to handle for the past couple weeks. “and… i mean, like like. i want to hold your hand and maybe take you on a date, someday.”

mira’s shoulders shift and a small giggle slips from her lips, but she doesn’t interrupt, and erza is thankful for it.

“and i know you like me, too.”

“haven’t been trying to hide it.”

a small smile pulls up at the corner of her mouth. erza savors the feeling and tucks it in the depths of her heart—a small piece of joy, true, but it’s all she needs when she’s feeling down.

“but?” mira asks, and erza’s smile falls from her face. “there’s always a but, with this kind of conversation.”

“there is,” erza agrees and grits her teeth. “i… i can’t be with you. at least not for now.”

there is no “why”’s, no “but”s or “please”s or “what”s. the arm mira has wrapped around her squeezes her gently. 

“you’re someone very precious to me, mira. and being around you makes me so happy, truly,” erza tells her, reaching down to caress her hand. the memory of jellal flashes in her mind’s eye—his hands resting against her cheek, his hands wrapped around her neck—and she has to fight the shudder of horror that runs through her. the vision leaves her feeling used and foul, the taste of blood settling at the back of her mouth. “but the way i’m now… i’m not in the best mental state. i’m not in the place i’m ready for a relationship. and i want to be the best me in order to be worthy of you.”

mira shifts, just enough so they are facing each other. there’s a touch of sadness in the lines around her eyes, and it chips at erza’s heart to see it, but there is also relief. 

“i don’t need you to do anything to be worthy of me,” she says, a certain kind of softness in her voice that only serves to crush the pieces of what used to be erza’s heart into nothing. her fingers run over her cheek, so light erza can barely feel it—they caress her injured eye, then run right over where the faint scar would be if she hadn’t covered it with foundation. “but i will wait.”

“you… you will?” erza asks, feeling her voice come hollow and empty.

mira gives her a gentle smile and leans in, close enough for their breaths to mingle. her lips press against her cheek, soft as the petal of a flower and just as light, before she pulls back.

“of course.” mira laughs, a soft and airy sound. “erza, the kind of thing i feel for you isn’t something i will give up so easily.”

“i don’t want you to just… sit and wait for me,” erza says, not for the first time hating how awkward she feels.

“i promise, i know how to take care of myself.” mira pats her cheek fondly. there’s so much affection in this simple gesture. “but for now, i will wait for you—i will wait, as long as i can bear to. i want you to be happy, but i don’t plan to waste myself over it.”

a kind of relief washes over erza and she allows herself to smile. the guilt she’s been drowning in for days finally disappears, replaced by a kind of floatiness she cannot describe.

“can i kiss you?” she asks, latching on the pieces of courage that are usually so easy to find it.

mira regards her with a curious glance, then smiles and nods. when they kiss, her lips are soft, with only the slightest hint of strawberry to them.

and for the first time in weeks, erza is able to forget the feel of chains around her wrists and betrayal behind her teeth.

**Author's Note:**

> come visit me at my tumblr, [pan-princess-levy](http://pan-princess-levy.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
